"Happy Wife Happy Life" when did we become the bullies?

Most of us have heard it, the famous christian comedian Jeff Allen and his catch phrase "Happy wife, Happy life" then he does a cheesy grin, the audience laughs, all to familiar with the premise. The husband wants  to do something and the wife says "No" and to keep the peace the husband obeys his wife's demands. The wives/women in the audience will nod with approval, and the men nod their heads having been through the same thing. And it isn't just Jeff Allen, this is a common theme in most marriage humor.
So when did we become the bullies ladies? Why is this so widely accepted, especially in the church? When did it ever become ok to demand our way, or we will make your life so miserable until you cave in and submit to our will. And men will do it, to keep peace, they will back down, they will give up their God given right as the leader, and will "obey" his wife's whims to keep the peace.



read to these proverbs:


Pro 12:4 An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.

Pro 19:13 ..., and a wife's quarreling is a continual dripping of rain.

Pro 21:9 It is better to live in a corner of the housetop than in a house shared with a quarrelsome wife.

Pro 27:15 A continual dripping on a rainy day and a quarrelsome wife are alike;

Pro 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a quarrelsome and fretful woman.

Pro 14:1 The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down.

Pro 31:3 Do not give your strength to women, your ways to those who destroy kings.

This describes the woman who has a "Happy wife, Happy life" household. .

Contrast that with what God says a wife should be

Eph 5:22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Eph 5:23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Eph 5:24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Col 3:18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

1Pe 3:1 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 1Pe 3:2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 1Pe 3:3 Do not let your adorning be external--the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-- 1Pe 3:4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. 1Pe 3:5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 


1Co 11:3 But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God.


Pro 19:14 House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

Pro 31:10 An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels. Pro 31:11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, and he will have no lack of gain. Pro 31:12 She does him good, and not harm, all the days of her life.

Pro 31:28 Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Pro 31:29 "Many women have done excellently, but you surpass them all."



Ok its time to be honest. Are you a bully to your husband? Do you demand your way? OR if you don't get your way, do you sulk around the house, do you mutter under your breath, do you make him miserable until he caves? This is not how it should be! Remember our daughters are watching us, and our sons. I have been guilty, if we are honest I think everyone of us has. But just because it is the "norm" in our society, does not make it right. And just because your husband doesn't fight back doesn't mean it is ok. The husband is your leader, respect and honor him with your conduct and attitude, this is as unto the Lord.